And now for something different

I've tried writing a few entries over the last few days and things have gotten deleted.

I'm glad we got a chance to do the show we did on Friday. I had 9 friends come out to Everett from Seattle to see us. I was finally excited to play and do music again after I woke up that day and heard that news.
We got screwed over surprise surprise by the promoter, but the show went smoothly.

The next night was The Key Note Speaker show, my friend Scott's band. Scott ended up wasted before playing the show and what ensued was crazy antics and the most rediculous rock and roll show I've ever seen. Hard to explain, but he spent part of the show on the floor singing into the mic sideways, with the mic laying on the floor next to him. Anyway, my friend Jay accompanied me to the show and then we all went to the tin hat. Then Scott invited us back to his place for wine so we went and Jay and I ended up crashing there.

We got up really early and hit Beth's cafe then went back to Jay's place where his room mate's father offered me a shot of bitters at ten am. So I drank it, and continued to drink wine through the day til we decided to order some pizza. I called Sarah and she came over and met up with us. Then at 7pm, after not having since slept since way before The Flash Suppressor show, Sarah and I napped as Jay's D&D Party began. I woke up around 3am and woke up Jay and we talked til 6am when he had to go to work, then I came home again.

The week was good, and I've made a new friend as well- Devin. Met some new people. I've stayed busy and social and I've been so much happier this way. A lot of texts.

I've decided to re-establish Hula nights, so everyone came out yesterday. We took up the whole right wall this time. I was told I was magnetic at some point and looking around that room at everyone I knew and brought together I believed it.
I have to say Devin has been good for my soul in ways. Every time I give him some sort of compliment or attention, he completely returns it. He consistently tells me how sweet I am. He left town after hanging out but has been texting me. We're gunna hang out when he gets back again.

I picked up the notebook and have started penning lyrics again as well. One song I've started is about seeing everybody I've lost again, which is coming along. Melodies play in my head all the time. I guess I'm feeling like myself again kinda.

Monday I was SUPER sick. But I have been staying in a good mood really since the weekend. I'm gunna do an acoustic show in 3 weeks and I'm stoked, but a little weirded out. It'll just be me and my keyboard. I'm trying to figure out which songs to play. At least a couple Flash ones, but def solo stuff. Maybe I'll have a whole new song to debut by then.

I did have a dream last night about ending up with Johnny again. It felt so real... Then I woke up and realized that no, I was still alone and we're still not speaking. His show that I was invited to and then he un-invited me to is Saturday. I really wish there was something else going on that day I wanted to be at. I miss him. I want to be at the show pretty badly, but I respect his not wanting me there.

On that note I want to clarify that the song "villan" is not about Johnny. Johnny never made me out to be the villan. It was everybody else. And that's what I'm writing about. The frustration at that situation. The whole damn thing.

Even if Johnny doesn't want me at his show because he has another girl coming, at this point I've let it go. I have no desire to cause drama or feel that anxiety anymore. I'd love to see him again at this point. Give him a hug. Let him know no hard feelings and all that, and move on. Moving on is hard, but I'm working on it. And I'm def feeling better like I said since the weekend.

I still haven't decided on my plans for Halloween or even what my costume will be, but I def want to do something cool.

Anyway, that's the news for now. Pills are almost gone, but I am SO PROUD of myself because I am only going to be without pills for 3 days. ONLY 3 DAYS. That never happens. Usually 2 weeks is how long I'm strung out for but it's only gunna be 3 days. I dunno how that worked out but yay!

Ok, off to find something else to do.