The weekend (was awesome)

Ok, now that I got my rant off my chest yesterday, I want to blog about the weekend now, hehe. It's likely a longer one. 1

I'd been so worried about the show since Monday. Unable to sleep, nervous when I'd think about it- I had never been nervous before a performance before. Not plays, other solo shows, nothing, but this meant more to me I guess. I couldn't even get excited until Friday, when I finally started feeling prepared enough. Johnny had a show the same day at a bar not too far away, so I was really hoping we could catch each others sets, but that wasn't meant to be.

I got up Friday and felt a surge of adrenaline immediately. I showered, and spent forever doing my hair and makeup. I got into my clothes which took awhile because fishnet stockings are a bitch. Then I grabbed my keyboard and headed for the car. I kept reminding myself to breathe, this was gunna be awesome, and also reminded myself not to fuck up. :)

We ran through a few songs when I got to the rehearsal space, then we packed up the gear. We headed, in slow fashion (as there was crazy traffic) to the Red Line. We got there and I laid my eyes upon the stage for the first time. All anxiety left me. It was gunna be fine.
Setting up took awhile, but I ordered myself a vodka cran and promised myself I was gunna limit myself to one before the show. I hadn't had time to eat that day or much that week at all. I kept my word.

We got on stage at exactly 9 and began, and powered through our set. I couldn't hear myself sing very well at all over all the noise. But the crowd was awesome and I had such fun. It was over so quickly. Just as I knew it would be.
My friend Jeff came to support me, bless his heart, and we had a couple drinks after I got off stage. But the energy changed and I was ready to try and see Johnny play. So we hopped over to the Skylark, though we were too late to hear Post Ado.
Then Johnny and I went back to his place and went to sleep.

The next night was the date he had planned to go to dinner at The Brooklyn and I borrowed a dress from Lauren that was gorgeous. We had an absolutely WONDERFUL meal and I tried oysters for the first time. Johnny and I then walked to the Union bar for drinks, but I was so full! So we drank slowly and really talked again. Talking to him has become so easy and natural I finally have the feeling like I've known him for a long while. I feel like I can tell him anything now, and he makes me laugh on a daily basis. We went to the Hula Hula after awhile, which as far as Seattle is concerned has my favorite staff at any bar. Course, I still have mad love for Terrance at the Crescent. That birthday was awesome.

Sunday we had to go to Johnny's brother's place for dinner celebrating his two years of sobriety. He made steak and potatoes and veggies and it was delicious, but I felt awkward some of the time. I don't know Chris (J's bro- hey I just realized we both have brothers named Chris, weird...) very well, as any time I've tried to talk with him or ask him things about himself he's been curt with me. Amber met Chris first and I'm pretty sure there is a bit of picking sides there. Not my doing, as I said, I don't really know him. I'd like to. He seems like a really cool guy, and if he is anything like his brother, I'm sure I'd adore him.
But on a related line Amber and Chris' girlfriend Nicole have made fast friends, and again I don't know her very well either for the same reason.
I have no reason to force myself on these people, or make them like me. I think eventually they'll come around as everyone else has, but it does hurt as well. I don't want to be on the outside- and the fact that Nicole and Amber refer to themselves as sisters now, well...
Not only that, but if Nicole ever does decide that it's ok to be nice to me, Amber's put her in an awkward position because Nicole and Chris will likely feel put in the middle. That's not fair to anyone, and I don't want that to happen.
I hope Johnny's friends that are friendly with me don't feel that way. I would never make it so you had to pick a side. People that read this are biased because they know me, and really what is this blog if not me me me?
I hope Amber doesn't feel I've turned anyone against her, because really other people bring it up before I do. She bit Summer, which ended their friendship but Summer and I became friends quickly and were thick as thieves for awhile. I think she was probably hurt by that, because Summer was her friend first. But... Summer's a cool chick and we just got each other right away.
Besides, Summer told me what Amber said about me. That's why Summer was resistant to being friends with me originally.

Anyway, the dinner was great and it was fun talking to Johnny's bandmates and Michelle, but I didn't feel comfortable jumping right into the conversations that were going on around me with people Amber had met before I did. I just never know exactly what's been said, or how they feel and again, there's no reason to cause trouble or anything. So I spent most of the evening near Johnny and kept to myself. I was so tired that night too, and feeling a little on the ill side. The stress of the last week had caught up with me that evening I think. But back at Johnny's we had a couple glasses of wine and called it an early night.

Since Sunday I've been on a bit of an emotional ride. Not like, to terrible extremes or anything. I'm blissfully happy around J, or just thinking about him when I'm home, but there's been band drama and I'm frustrated with that, and then the whole Amber trigger made me a little upset. I've been bored, and while I'm working on a rendition of a Natasha Beddingfield song, my muse is absent as always happens when I get happy, haha. Why can I only write when I'm miserable?

We're having a fucking huge party here Saturday for Lauren's bday, and I'm excited for it, but I'm also nervous because I'm wondering when the noise will die down. I just don't wanna get no sleep strung out again. Last week was terrible for that.

And in other news (then I'll shut up, promise) I intend to drink all day on St. Patty's like any good Irish girl would do. I'm also considering making traditional Irish fare that day. But that used to be my mom's job. I guess I'll attempt it, since I haven't.

Ok, til next time peeps. Stay amazing.