Bitch Session

I haven't responded to anybody I'm following in awhile. My apologies. There is a reason. I have been reading though.

Life has been busy and good, filled with music and work. My friend Ian is in town from SLC, sleeping on my floor. I've been showing him everything interesting I can think of. Keeps me away from my blog. I've been really meaning to write more.

Got a call on Thursday from the doctor though. They found abnormalities in my last blood test. I have to go to the hospital next week. Kinda shook me to my core. I'm taking the weekend to do shows, spend time with Ian and my other friends here before I have to go...

I guess Wed will be the big day. I gotta get through my open mic Tuesday. Everything else I can work around whatever my health needs. To be honest, I'm feeling off. Have been for a few weeks now. My kidneys have been hurting since about Wednesday.
I'm not complaining, I'm just aware whatever is going on is taking it's toll.
Surprisingly my pain has been down in general though, minus the kidneys until today.

My resolve to be a better person is still steadfast. I'm still on the path I'm supposed to be on I think.

I'm not worrying anybody at this point. My parents know, and Ian knows because he was here when the call came. But it affects how long he's here. It's not like this was the plan when I told him to come now. Shitty timing. This is part of the reason I haven't been dating.

I *have* been feeling more nostalgic though. I've been having dreams again fairly regularly, when I do manage to get to sleep.
This just leads me to say I miss him. I'm allowed. That's all I'm gunna say.

On a happy note the bookings have been going well. I'm keeping myself busy. I'm making more aquaintences and discovering good music. I can't believe how Involved I've managed to get into the rockabilly scene. Surprises me.

Anyway I had a lot more on my mind, but I'm tired. I'm so worn out these days. Leaving the bed to make food most of the time seems like a chore, so I kind of stopped eating again. Though it's likely realted in general to whatever is going on, it isn't like the last time I stopped eating- when I couldn't make myself. Now it's just so much fucking work.
I manage to get out to see the music, and give my life purpose, but even at that anything past midnight makes me long for the security of my bedroom.

I hope anyone reading is doing well. I will update this when I can. For now it's nap time I guess. I've been up since 6am. Gotta get an rx before 6pm.

I also hope this didn't turn into a giant bitch session. But very much love to you. You're in my thoughts. If I'm in yours I'm delighted.

<3