Belonging

Lat night was a double header here in old Seattle. My bassist Josh scored a show with us at Flights Pub, right before Peratus had a show at Tony V's. Got there early last night for a change (I'm late everywhere. It's a curse. When I adopted the name "kate" so "late" came with it.)Polecat, the sound guy, couldn't get the show up and running on time, so we didn't actually take the stage til 9:15. I was upset by this a little, as Flash is known for being easy to work with and PUNCTUAL. (Hey, if we can keep that reputation, I don't mind. I'll never have it in my personal life haha.)
So we finally started running and there were sound balance problems. So between songs to kill time while Polecat did whatever he does (stoned, btw) I got the bar to sing happy birthday to my bassist Josh. He turned 30 last night.
As I'm trying to sing and play at the same time, the mic isn't in the right place. So I can basically play like a retarded monkey and not look at the keys ever, and still be able to sing, or I can play like the devil and nobody will hear a word. I opted to sing, and hoped the band would cover any missed piano that was happening. Besides, even though I had told Polecat twice the levels to my keys was WAY down, and I couldn't hear them, I had to get to the last song for everything to blend. We ran over on time cuz we started late, so I went into the bathroom and changed into my new corsette. Finished my glass of wine, and drove the rest of the way to where Peratus was playing.
When I got there Peratus was already playing their first song, and I was so excited to hear them. When I got to the bar, the door man asked me for the cover. "Actually I'm in Peratus" I said. "I'm their new keyboardist." The guy looked at my cock eyed for a second, but let me in without paying the cover. I ran over to Sev's roommates and car mates (He's the lead singer) and they welcomed me with big hugs. They introduced me to the girls they were with and then I danced with one of them. (Like do-si-do. Haven't done that in ages!) Meanwhile I'm still sticking to the wine for the evening. When they got offstage I helped carrry equipment out, and they w+ere super fast at tear down! Afterwards I spent a lot of time hanging with the band. I got introduced many times over to everybody who had come out as the keyboardist. I kept saying what an honor it was to even be asked to play with them, and how excited I was. As I stood around with the boys, they included me in every conversation. They gave me affectionate rubs on the head and joked with me. I felt this warm feeling wash over me. Like, I belonged there. With them. Like, they'd protect me. I was part of the band, which in turn made me part of the car club, and I would be a friend. I wasn't sure how to take it exactly, but I was so grateful. So I stayed til the last second eating it up. That feeling of belonging. Then I headed back to Josh's birthday party.

I didn't stay long. I wanted to get back to Seattle, and back to Johnny. He hadn't come to the shows because of practice. I drove back to Seattle, antsy. When I arrived with a bottle of wine, he hardly had me in the door before he started undoing my corsette. It made me feel sexy, and desired, and happy. I hadn't seen him do that in awhile. After the shaky start, and strong finish to the evening, I was very pleased with this. I laid around this morning for awhile touching his skin, when he woke me up to get a blanket. I was incredibly surprised at how unhungover I was. Then I remember I'd drank half a carton of milk, and a whole large bottle of applejuice the day before. I'd saved myself from the dehydration. I watch him as he sleeps and just think to myself 'I'm so damn lucky.' He is amazing on so many levels. Why he lets me stay here, I don't know, but I'm so grateful and happy for it.

Perhaps I'll return to his side now and try to sleep again. I've taken half a sleeping aid, and I'm hoping it does the trick til my Rx is renued in 4 days. Love to you all. I'm really feeling it this morning. :)